Top 10 Things I Never Thought I Would Have to Say...

I knew becoming a mother would change my life. I'm not stupid. But, really...the things that I find myself having to say to my children...it's really just frightening. Here's my top 10 (in no particular order):

1) "Do I look like a tissue? Please don't wipe your nose on me!"
2) "Do you have underpants on? Don't lie to me." <-- said with surprising regularity to the boy.
3) "Get that out of your mouth! Gross!"
4) "No, actually, I don't think the worm is cute."
5) "Yeah, well I want a LOT of things." <--- Said in reply to the inevitable "Mom, I want...."
6) "Quit chewing on your sleeves!" <--- I'm convinced the boy has an oral fixation. Half the time I feel like I'm talking to a puppy instead of a kid.
7) "No, you cannot ride the dog."
8) "Because Popsicles are not something you eat for breakfast!"
9) "Ew! Please don't lick me!"
...and now for my all time favorite:
10) "Dude, if you don't get your hand out of your pants, I'm going to take your penis away." <--- Oh, yeah. I've said that.

Kids Say (and Do) the Darndest Things

Remember when Bill Cosby did those prime time specials with all the funny things kids say? I live that. Every day. It's probably the only thing that keeps me sane some days. Last night Carl III told me a story about Paige and I thought to myself, "I should really type this stuff out, because these are the things that I need to remember when I'm ready to flick my kids in the eye."

- When Carl III arrived at his mom's house to pick the kids up yesterday afternoon, Paige was sitting in the room that she and Carl IV share and was reading a book. Carl III poked his head in and said, "Alright, Paige. It's time to go." She looks up from her book and says, "Get outta my woom." Carl III patiently says again, "Paige. It's time to leave. Let's go." But, alas, "Weave me awone!" is her snotty response. He walks in the room to get her, and she looks at him and says, very matter of fact, "Nobody wuves (loves) me." WHAT?! He looked down at her and said, "Now, that's just not true. You know a lot of people that love you very much. Me, mommy, grandmom, Carl, Aunt Leah, and a bunch of other people." After considering this for a moment she says, "Oh, okay," gets up, and walks to the door. What a weirdo.

- In our area, the students of Penn State have a few weekends a year that they collect money for childhood cancer research/treatment. One of these weekends was about 3 weeks ago, and while driving around I gave a few bucks to one of the kids while I was stopped at a light. Carl IV was immediately all over me with questions. "Mom, why'd you give that guy dollars?" So, I explained that they were collecting money to help sick kids and their families. "Sick kids?" he asks. I go on to explain that sometimes little boys and girls get so sick that they can't leave the hospital and all their medicine can get really expensive, so these students were out raising money to help their families pay for that stuff. He chewed this over and I thought that was the end of it. The following week my mother in law tells me a story that while in Wal Mart, Carl and Paige had their money (a hand full of change) that they wanted to use to buy a prize. Paige got some candy or something, but Carl couldn't decide on anything. While walking around, he noticed one of those big donation stands that have the slot for you to put your change in and it twirls down these slopes and stuff. Carl asked what it was, Debbie told him it was for sick kids. Carl looks up at her and asks, "Can I put my money in there? I want them to get better."  *sniff* Are you kidding me?! Little things like that are so great to hear. It's reassuring to know that I'm doing something right, you know?

- Carl IV is working on writing the letters of the alphabet and corresponding letters with words that start with that letter, etc. Well, this weeks letter is 'E.' So, we're talking the other night about words that start with 'E.' So I say, "Elephant starts with E...egg, excellent, enormous..." At this point he starts cracking up, looks at me and says, "Hahaha! YOU'RE enormous, mom!" .... Yeah. Thanks, punk.

It's a Mess in Here!

The title of this post refers to my mind. I've got so much going on right now that I am completely incapable of forming a coherent post, so I'm just going to type some random thoughs flying around in there and hope that it provides you with some entertainment.

- We moved into a house in King of Prussia last weekend. Actually, Carl III moved us into a house in King of Prussia. I basically sat on the couch (until he took that to the new house) and watched him move. The house is smaller, but absolutely fantastic!

- I've been trying to organize all the baby stuff for Teaghan's pending arrival (only 2 1/2 more weeks!!!) and am just in absolute awe at the amount of crap that Paige accumulated during her infant-stage.

- Baby clothes (especially girls') can make anyone mooshy. Example: I'm digging through bins of Paige's old clothes to wash and organize by size. Carl III comes walking through the living room, pauses for a second in the doorway, turns around and says, "I don't care how lame it sounds...baby clothes are just so freakin' adorable."

- Next Friday is my last day of work before maternity leave. I absolutely cannot wait for my boss to get a feel for all of the things that I do every day around here. Knowing in the back of my mind that he will have a new appreciation for me when I come back is making the last 2 weeks here much more bearable.

- I still haven't packed my bag for the hospital. For my first pregnancy I shaved my legs every day for the last month of pregnancy, had my bag packed the second I entered my third trimester, had my doctor's number on speed dial, etc. This time around I have to be honest...I'm not even sure who I should call if/when I go into labor.

- I have woken up before 3am the past 3 nights. *yawn*

- I want a big slice of pecan pie right now. Mmmmm...

- We're going here on Sunday to pick apples and pumpkins. I think I might be more excited than the kids. Fresh apples?! Yes, please!!!

- I got a pedicure on Tuesday. My toes are hot pink. The girl working there looked at me like I was nuts when I picked my color. Why do people feel that loud colors are only for the summer time? If anything, I need that splash of fun more now than I did in July. Dur!

- My ankles have reached 'cankle' status. What are cankles, you ask?

Have You Seen This Child?

Carl III found this picture on his phone's memory today. This was a little over 2 years ago. Have you seen this baby? Where did she go? Would you look at those cheeks?! 

Trey Love Needs Your Prayers

You may remember my post on a local boy from earlier this year http://rudegeairs.blogspot.com/2011/03/on-serious-note.html

I just saw this on his parents' facebook page:

From MikeandMissy Love: Trey is at chop. Hes as limp as a dish towel. We are waiting are his blood work to see whats up. His heart rate and blood pressure are both elevated. He lost a lot of weight. His temperature is normal. Please just pray very hard that nothing is seriously wrong. Please pass this on to as many people as possible. We need your prayers badly.

So please say a quick prayer for Trey and his family.

OCTOBER?!?!?!

Good grief. I have no excuse. I just really stink at updating this little blog o' mine. Okay, so what's been going on in our lives? A lot, actually. Our current landlord...we'll call her Poop-Head...made an agreement with us back in July that she would waive rent for August due to the house needing repairs that she didn't want to spend the money making. Our hopes were to find a new place by September and move on with our lives. Well, having a month to try and find a house that suites our needs and our budget turned out to be quite a bit more complicated than we had thought. So, we returned to our landlord offering to pay 1/2 rent for September in hopes that we could find somewhere by October. Well, Poop-Head makes a little grumbling, but no outright argument. Fast forward 1 week to us finding a letter from her lawyer demanding that we pay full rent for August and September now. Say, what?! Yeah, so we fire back with, "I'm not paying full rent for a house that is in need of repairs that aren't being addressed." Blah, blah, blah...lots of back and forth between us and the lawyer. Carl had the brilliant idea to contact a code enforcement agency to prove that the home was, in fact, in need of certain repairs that were more than just cosmetic or a convenience issue. So, the code guy came out, wrote up his report (which was SOOOOOO very much more than we even realized!) and we forwarded it to our landlord. Long story short: Poop-Head has realized that she doesn't have a proverbial leg to stand on, legally speaking, and she has agreed that we don't owe her any rents beyond what we have paid her. Whoo-hoo!
We found a new house, in great condition, cool owners/landlords, and a fabulous neighborhood! Our official move-in is 10/15/2011, so we've got a really busy 2 weeks ahead of us!
On the new baby front, we have decided on a name: Teaghan Renee Rudegeair. Also, I have officially reached the stage of pregnancy that picking up my other children results in my lying on the sofa scolding myself for 2 hours afterward. It also took me 5 minutes to put on my socks and shoes this morning...and the shoes are Uggs, so they just pull on. Maneuvering around this massive belly is posing more and more of a challenge every day. 5 more weeks to go!

Things NOT to Say to a Pregnant Chick

1) "Look how big you're getting!" Yeah, thanks, pal. Because I hadn't noticed that while pulling on my elastic waisted pants over the mound of flesh that used to be my abdomen this morning. Ugh.

2) "You're going to breastfeed, right?" Excuse me, how is this ANYONE's business? Honestly? And the people that ask this can swear up and down that they're asking because they care about your kid's well-being, and how breastfeeding is best...I'm convinced it's just an excuse for nosey biddies to get all judgey on those of us that choose to bottle-feed. Yes, I'm selfish. I've already dedicated my body to this child for almost an entire year. I'm ready to be able to leave the house without worrying about whether I'll have to pump or feed or risk my boobs exploding. That being said, I have the utmost admiration for women that can commit to breastfeeding for any length of time without going bonkers. Hats off to you, ladies.

3) "Have you decided on a name yet?" This one really bugs me for some reason. I think it's because, when you tell people names that you're considering, they take this as an open invitation to give their opinion on those names. Yeah...I didn't ask if you liked the name, lady. It's not your kid, so I don't care if you knew a girl named _____ in middle school and she was absolutely terrible and you could never stand the name from that point on. That's nice. Make sure to scratch that name off of your list of potential baby names, then. I can't tell you how many people gave me negative opinions about the name Paige. Now that it's her name, all we get are compliments (and be honest...if you've met the girl, there isn't another name out there that suits her, right?!).

4) "How much weight have you gained?" This one really requires no explanation...and, yes, someone asked me this last week. My reply? A VERY arched raised eyebrow and a closed mouth.

5) "How are you feeling?" Ugh! This is the first thing everyone says to a pregnant woman. Do you really want to hear all of the things ailing me at the moment?! Do you?! My ankles swell up to the size of my calf almost daily resulting in my having cankles for the first time in my life. My child's foot/knee/elbow has taken up residence between 2 of my floating ribs on the left side resulting in pain while sitting, sleeping, standing, etc. Shall I continue?

6) "Oh, you're coming back to work?" Again with the judgey. Yes, I am coming back to work. As much as I would love to be the stay-at-home mom type, I just don't have that in me (even if it was financially realistic...which it just isn't right now). I tried it, and I was borderline depressed. There were days that the boy and I never got out of pajamas (and I'm not talking 1 or 2 days here and there...multiple days per week). It's just not my thing. We're all much happier now that we're not in each other's pockets constantly.  

7) "Was this a planned pregnancy?" This one usually comes immediately after first announcing that you're pregnant. How is this in any way appropriate, people? If it weren't a planned pregnancy, do you think I would want to discuss that with you?! Honestly...tact, people. Tact. Learn it. Use it.

8) "Are you going to have any more children?" Again, none of your business. And asking a woman that is 8 months pregnant this question...I can almost guarantee that her answer will be either "I don't know," or "Absolutely not." Also, there seems to be no answer to this question that satisfies the person asking. If you say yes, then they look at you like you're one of those families in Arkansas with 97 kids. One of my friends just had her first, and she and her husband are perfectly content with that. She actually got negative remarks from people when she said they probably weren't going to have any more. Ugh! BUTT OUT!

Sorry for the rant, but apparently these things needed to be pointed out because people can be a little stupid. The end.

Extreme Coup -- Oooh, look! A butterfly.

After living without power for 4 days, obviously I had to throw away a lot of food this week. I mean, really...A LOT! I am disgusted with how much frozen meat just got tossed into the trash can. Ugh. Such a waste of money. So, I decided I was going to buckle down with my coupons and the internet, find the best deals on as much as I could so that I can restock our food supply without draining our bank account. Yeeeeeaaaaahh...I'm having flashbacks to high school. I don't know if I have ADD or if I just get bored really fast. I'm digging through the sales ads, pulling up websites, all gung-ho about how much money I'm going to save and "Oooh! I can get free toothpaste!" then suddenly, *POOF* I'm bored and watching 'How I Met Your Mother' and eating 1/2 a bag of BBQ potato chips (<--- don't judge me). I'm trying. I really am. But it's just so hard for me to organize my own thoughts, much less 30 pages of coupons and remembering what store's ads are good from Thursday thru Wednesday and which ones run from Sunday to Saturday. My mind is boggled. Not to mention that looking at all these stupid ads is making me hungry.

LET THERE BE LIGHT!!!!

WE HAVE POWER!!!! Whoo-hooo!!!! I was cleaning all the food out of the fridge/freezer (and am ill at the amount of meat I had to throw away...what a waste) when I suddenly heard this humming. It took me a minute to realize it was the fridge kicking on! Hallelujah! That was one of those moments that I wish life was like a musical. I can think of no more appropriate time to spontaneously burst into song and dance!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Still no power. On the verge of a HUGE meltdown.

Yes, I'm From Florida, but...

Hurricane Irene hit our area Saturday night. My power went out at approximately 10:00pm. It is 4:36pm on Tuesday. I am still without power. Not cool. Not cool at all. "But aren't you from Florida?" people keep asking me. "You should be used to this." Grrrr. Yes, people of Pennsylvania. I am from Florida. And yes, I have done this whole 'no power' thing before many times. But that's the point. I've done this. I've done this for weeks on end before. Now I live in Pennsylvania, I shouldn't have to! Not to mention that when I lived in Florida I was doing this without kids. My biggest concern was getting enough ice to keep my beer from skunking. No electricity for 3 days + 2 kids = Unhappy Dee. Add to the mix the fact that we have well water, so no electricity means no running water...forget it. I'm done. I have given up. No point in getting upset over it. That sure hasn't helped thus far. So here are a few things that I have just resigned myself to accepting until I get power back:
- My house smells. It smells like the food that's going icky in my fridge that I'm afraid to clean out until I have enough light to really see what's in there. It smells like the toilets haven't flushed in 3 days. It smells like the husband who has been working 16 hours a day since Sunday and hasn't had a chance to shower (because remember? We don't have water.).
- I will not get a full night's sleep until we get power back. This is due to several factors: 1) It's too damn quiet without the hum of the refrigerator or the fish tank or my fan. 2) The boy has decided that without his nightlight, his room is unfit for nightime habitation...in other words he's terrified of the dark and my mommy powers are the only thing that will keep him safe from the things that go bump in the night. So now I have a very leggy 4 year old taking up 3/4 of my bed and using every exposed body part of mine as a pillow. 3) Carl is working until 11:00pm every night. Our front door is loud. Do the math.
- I am going to end up reading the same 4 Disney books every night. And, really, Disney? MUST you make the books so long? The kids are starting to catch on to my "skip a page" and "paraphrase" tactics. I'm sorry, but I just can't read a 50 page book to a 2 & 4 year old.
Okay, enought whining...I'm heading home. Fingers crossed that by some miracle we have power. Puh-leeeeeeeeease, God! Please!

The End is Neigh!

Did I even use 'neigh' properly? Probably not. Ah, well. You may be asking yourself, "When did Dee become an apocalyptic prophet?" Let me tell you about the goings on in the tri-state area lately. We have received more rain this month than ever before (at least the Philadelphia area has). Ever. In recorded history. EVER.
On Tuesday we had an earthquake. Sort of. Alright, there was an earthquake in Virginia, and my desk in Limerick, PA jiggled a little. I was in the office alone and, I swear, I thought I was having a seizure. It was that subtle, but just enough that I was like, "Why in the world am I shaking?" Haha! Sad, I know, but true.
Now we have a major hurricane heading our way this weekend. Hurricane Irene has the potential to still be a category 3 storm when it reaches our area. Really, Nature? Really?! That is the ONE reason I always give when I am asked the question, "Why on earth did you move to PA from Florida?!" "No hurricanes," I reply. Well you just had to prove me wrong, didn't you, Nature? Hmph. I don't appreciate that. At all.
On the bright side, my cousin Claire is coming to visit today! Yay! Well, let me edit that. As long as the weather quits being stupid for long enough, my cousin Claire will arrive today! Hooray! I'm so excited, but at the same time a little...not nervous, but...anxious, maybe? You see, Claire and my sister were pen pals since childhood and have always been closer than Claire and I (I think they're a little closer in age, and just had more in common given the fact that last time Claire visited our family I was 12 and both she and my sister were in high school). Anywho, I, being the anxiety-ridden moron that I am, have been stressing out about what we're going to do and "Oooh, I have to take her to see this," and "Crap! I can't forget to take her here!" I'm just so desperate to show her a good time. I know. I'm needy. But now this stinkin' weather is goofing up all my plans! It's kind of hard to enjoy putzing around Philadelphia taking in the sights when there's a Cat 2-3 hurricane blowing around! Ugh! Let me assure you that this is all self-inflicted stress. Claire has assured me that all she wants to do is hang out with the family and spend a few days getting to know the kids and Carl and catching up with me. But I am always so worried that anyone that visits is bored...I don't want to be the boring stop on a trip, you know? "Oh, my trip was fabulous! I went to India and saw the Taj Mahal. Then off to Indiana where we did blah, blah, blah awesome things. Oh, yeah. Then I stayed at my cousin's house and watched her hyperactive children act like caged animals during a hurricane." *sigh* Why do I do this to myself?

A Comparison

The Boy:

• Born 4 days late...and would've probably stayed longer if given the opportunity.
• Screamed every waking moment for approximately 3 months.
• Lost almost all of his hair in the first 6 months of life save a freakish mullet-looking patch in the back.
• Slept on my or Carl's chest for the first few weeks because he wouldn't sleep otherwise.
• Started crawling at 6 months, walking at 9 months, potty-trained by 2 1/2.
• Has always fought sleep as if he's afraid we throw wild parties once he's in bed and he might miss something. Seriously, the boy used to pull his own hair as an infant to stay awake (side note: maybe that's why it all fell out...hmmm...)
•  Is very sensitive to other people's feelings. As a baby he was always VERY concerned when he heard another kid cry.
• The older the gets, the more cuddly he gets, much to my delight!

The Girl:

• Born 8 days early
• SUCH a pleasant baby...I remember thinking, "If normal babies are like this, I can see why people have more than one!"
• Has had the thickest, most amazing hair since day 1. No joke. She had her first hair cut at about 9 months. I don't think she ever lost a hair on her head.
• As long as you swaddled her and laid her on her side, the girl would sleep wherever you put her down as a baby.
• Started crawling at 5 1/2 months, walking at 8 months...still working on potty-training (stubborn little monster).
• Slept so much during her first week at home that I took her to the pediatrician 3 times. He looked at me and said, "She's a baby. They sleep. It's kind of their thing." To which I replied, "Do you remember my son? Carl Rudegeair?" And a look of knowing came over the doctor and he patted me on the back and said, "Well, you've definitely earned a good sleeper, haven't you?"
• Lives in her own little world 85% of the time. She spontaneously bursts into song/dance/conversation and doesn't care who's around (or even if she's completely alone).
• The older she gets, the less cuddly she gets. Hmph.

A Thursday List of Randomness

- Hearing the words "pediatric cardiologist" will strike the fear of God into the heart of a mother, regardless how innocent and routine the reason it was brought up.

- At my monthly OB visit yesterday my doctor told me I only gained 1 lb this month...she may as well have driven me to Sonic herself.

- Why does Sonic serve french fries? Really? Who goes to Sonic and doesn't get tots?!

- I'm torn...do I keep growing my hair out or go short again? Thoughts? I like being able to pull my hair up in a ponytail, but feel like shorter hair is more flattering for my Charlie Brown shaped head.

- One of my best friends from high school is getting married next September. It's hot in Pensacola in September. I will be 8 months pregnant at that time. God help me.

- 4 year olds are prone to emotional vomit. Let me elaborate: The 10 minute hysterical tantrum over what was triggered by a simple "No, you may not have a Popsicle for breakfast," will result in hearing all about how you don't care about said 4 year old, being a kid isn't fair, you never give him/her anything, and remember that one time you were in the shower and he/she was banging on the door because he/she had to poop and you told him/her to go away and maybe he/she should think of these things before someone else is in the bathroom? Yep...that means you don't love him/her and it hurt his/her feelings because all he/she wanted to do was go potty. 

- Teething does VERY unpleasant things to 2-year-olds. <--- just a reminder, because I had forgotten how true this is.

- Paige went potty today! Without any prodding! She asked my mother-in-law to go potty, sat down, and actually went #2! Hooray! Maybe she'll just figure this whole thing out on her own???? That would be so super awesome...unlikely, but super awesome.

Clever Boy

Every weekday morning I drop the kids off at my mother-in-law's house at around 7:30. She and I then sit at her kitchen table and just enjoy the brief pleasure of a 30 minute adult conversation until I head on my way for work. This morning Debbie was telling me about how Carl decided he wanted to learn to swim with his face in the water. Finding it rather difficult to explain she decided it would be easier to show him how to go about blowing bubbles, etc. God love her, she then proceeds to get in the kiddie pool with Carl IV and show him how to go about this (which I have to say is awesome of her because knowing the two kids that swim in there, it was probably half pee by that point). My son stops her and says, "Grandmom, I don't think this pool is meant for big ladies." Debbie stops and looks at him and says, "You mean a grown-up lady?" My son shakes his head and says, "No, I mean big," and pats his behind. For those of you who have not met my mother-in-law, let me tell you...she is FAR from overweight. The woman wears a smaller size than I do, and is in no way what I would consider "big." My son then looks at her and says, "My mom doesn't have a big butt." Aaaaaand, just like that, the boy has taken the lead as my favorite.  :)

Why am I Embarrassed?!

Last Friday I was unfortunate enough to have experienced what is, quite possibly, the most upsetting, offensive situation of my life to date. Long story short, my boss offered to take me to lunch with his friend because, well, I'm pregnant and I like to eat. So I'm all, "Hell yeah!" So we go to lunch up the road at a bar/restaurant and come back to the office all stuffed and happy. My boss then takes the friend we went to lunch with to pick up his car from the shop where it was being repaired. While my boss is gone, his wife arrives at the office and starts flipping out on me for going to lunch with her husband. Long story short, apparently their marriage has faced some issues in the past and they had an understanding that he was not to take women to lunch anymore. (Apparently, I was somehow supposed to know this...) "Okay," I'm thinking to myself, "while she's totally out of line for yelling at me about this, she's clearly got some past reason to be suspicious of her husband's actions in this situation, etc., etc." So, I'm just letting her vent and kind of blowing it off. Then, suddenly, she's in my face yelling about how I'm a married woman going to lunch with a married man, and I should be ashamed of myself. "For going to lunch?" I asked. I'm still so dumbfounded at this point that I can't wrap my head around what she's insinuating. Finally, she crossed a line. "I want you to look me in the eye and tell me that's not his baby." ...I'm going to give that a minute to sink in, because I know it took me a second. Now this crazy woman has gone from making accusations about her husband's intentions to insulting not only my fidelity to my husband and marriage, but my unborn child?! Ugh! I can think of a dozen things that I wish I had said to that woman now, but at the time I was so blown away that I just looked at her and said, "Are you kidding me?!" (and, alright, I might've embellished that with a few curse words).
My boss returns from dropping his friend off, his wife turns and starts lashing out at him, and my boss turns to me and tells me that I can leave and he'll pay me for the rest of the day because I don't have to sit there and listen to their nonsense. Later that afternoon/evening I received several emails from my boss apologizing for his wife's behavior and stating that he could assure me that something like that will never happen again and his wife will more than likely never set foot in this office again. I replied to him letting him know that as far as I was concerned we were cool, but if his wife ever came at me like that again, it would not end well (again...that might've been said with more colorful language).
So, this past week at work everything has been surprisingly normal. I think we have both just decided that we'd rather not address the issue and let it consume any more of our normalcy than it already has. After all, neither of us have anything to feel weird about (especially me).
This whole situation has gotten me thinking, though...why in the world was I embarrassed about telling people what had happened? I haven't talked to my best friend about this, I haven't said anything to my mom. It got me thinking...why, when we are victimized, do we feel ashamed of telling people about it?
So, I've decided that if this escalates any further (and quite possibly even if it does not) I will be looking for a new job. I cannot come to work every day wondering if some woman whose marriage is apparently a complete sham is going to pick today to come in and take it out on me.
I'm not looking for sympathy or advice, just really venting.

18 Weeks Left?

That sounds so long, and yet the fact that I'm more than halfway through this pregnancy is really starting to freak me out. Especially when I think about all the stuff going on between now and then. My buddy, BJ, is coming down on the 16th for his birthday (which is also my dad's birthday...hi, dad!); my cousin, Claire, is coming to visit in August (which is so freakin' awesome since I haven't seen her since I was maybe 12!); September is my birthday, a trip to Florida for Amanda's wedding, and BJ and I are going to fly one of our friends from P'cola who is now a photographer up here to take some pics for us (and to hang out since we haven't seen her since the late '90s); October brings mine and Carl's 7th anniversary (I know...weird, right?), Halloween, and then BAM! It's baby time. Yikes!
I'm still having a hell of a time finding maternity clothes, but need to suck it up and go shopping this weekend so I can avoid what is becoming my daily morning ritual of changing clothes 8 times because my pants are too tight and that shirt isn't long enough and "Forget it! I'm not going to work today! I look like a cow in these pants!" and I end up sobbing on top of a pile of clothes that won't fit the way I want. *sigh* My problem is work clothes. I have oodles of maternity jeans that a couple of friends have loaned me, but unfortunately my boss isn't that cool and I am expected to dress in appropriate office wear on occasion. Bummer.
I took the kids to our new pediatrician last Friday for a new patient physical, and turns out both of them needed a booster shot for...something... (don't judge me. I'm lucky I can remember the kids' names most days!) Wow. That did NOT go over well. I think the worst part is having to hold them down while the nurse gives the shot. Carl IV is no dummy and knew nothing good was going to come of having his mom holding his arms by the wrist and a nurse lying over the top of his legs. That kid was thrashing around like a maniac from the second the nurse cleaned his leg with the alcohol wipe until the needle came out. Is it just my kids, or do all kids look up at their parents after they get a shot with that "Why did you let them do that to me?!" look in their eyes? Ugh! It's devastating! The upside: this doctor gives each kid a "prescription" for a frozen yogurt at the mall after they get a shot. SCORE!
Alright, I know this post was kind of all over the place, but I'm having a scatterbrained kind of day, and now I'm ending it abruptly because I have a doctor's appointment in half an hour and have to get out of here. :)

I'm Cheap

There. I said it. I'm cheap. I'm not even going to pretend and say "frugal" or "thrifty." I'm cheap. I pretty much have to be. Unfortunately, it is becoming alarmingly clear that unless I want to wear maternity clothes that look like this 

I am going to have to get over my cheapness because I cannot find cute, trendy, flattering maternity clothes within my financial comfort zone. I went to Kohl's today thinking, "Kohl's...it's pretty hard not to find something I like at Kohl's." Well, by the time I tracked down their maternity department hidden away in the back behind the racks of bras and panties, I find that the "department" consists of 4 racks of tacky, tent/bell-shaped items made of synthetic fabrics that made me sweat just looking at them. Side note: Why do they design some maternity clothes to look like the same styles you find in the old lady section? How many retirees do you see that are knocked-up?! Come on, people! Ugh!
In my frustration over the lack of selection at Kohl's I then began searching online at Old Navy, Gap, etc. and their prices...obscene. I absolutely refuse to spend $50 on a pair of pants that I won't be able to wear this time next year. It's ridiculous! For Pete's sake, I'm expecting a baby...something that will be a financial parasite for at least the next 18 years. Is spending a small fortune on clothes that I'll only use for 5 months really a sound investment? I think not. I've tried looking at Goodwill, and their maternity stuff is usually jeans (of which I have plenty) or really outdated, floral tops. GAG!
So, long story short, if any of you know someone that designs maternity clothes, kick them in the shin for me. Trust me...they deserve it.

IT'S A GIRL!!!!!!

That's right, boys and girls...as one of my friends put so perfectly, "Team Estrogen takes the lead in the Rudegeair house!" I'll try and write a longer post later this week, but wanted to spread the word asap.

Random Monday-ness

It's Monday. I have a headache. My thoughts aren't coherent enough to form paragraphs.

1) Waking up 15 minutes before your alarm makes you tired all day. Doesn't matter if the 8 hours before were the most blissful sleep ever experienced by a human. That 15 minutes screws you for the rest of the day.

2) If you buy tickets for your husband and 4-year-old son to go to Monster Jams, be prepared to listen to nothing but monster truck talk for the next week of your life.

3) My daughter demands to have a dry shirt put on if she spills even the slightest bit of water on herself, but will sit in a soaking wet diaper until you drag her kicking and screaming to change it. ????

4) I have come to the frightening realization that I will most-likely be selling insurance for the remainder of my working life. *sigh* I really don't wanna, but the thought of starting over at something else just seems like an awful lot of trouble now.

5) I miss the beach. I know I practically never went, but knowing it was less than 30 minutes away was nice.

6) I talk to my mom more now that we're hundreds of miles apart than I did when we lived in the same town.

7) I find it really bizarre when people never live outside of the town they grew up in. It's one thing to leave for a while and go back, but to never have experienced life outside of your hometown...that's just weird to me. (Side Note: It always seems that these are the people that talk like they know everything and are so "cultured" and knowledgeable. Dude. You've never lived more than 30 minutes away from your mom. Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about.)

8) My kids have made me a much more patient person...but at the same time, I am MUCH less tolerant of b.s. than I used to be.

9) Having been both a stay-at-home mom and now a working mom, I've realized that no matter what you do, you can't please everyone so you may as well do what works for you. When I was at home with the kids it was inevitable that people thought I "didn't work." Yeah, because being at a kid's disposal 24/7 is like a vacation. Pfffft. And now that I work I get the, "Oh, but you're missing so much!"

10) I officially have a baby bump and wore maternity clothes all weekend. (Dee hangs head, sobbing) Goodbye, zippers and buttons. I will miss you. Elastic waistbands, here I come.

Obscure Celebrity Crush

Okay, this blog has absolutely nothing to do with my family, so if that's why you stopped by, sorry. My crazy pregnant brain will not allow any coherant thoughts to form, so I've been putzing around online most of the day. That's when I stumbled across my celebrity crush. The one guy that I can actually describe as "handsome." Not "hot" or "sexy"... how many guys get called handsome now. Over the age of 5, at least? Not many. Anywho, here he is. Anderson Cooper. *sigh*

I can't explain it, but the man is just dreamy to me. Maybe it's the steely blue eyes, the distinguished salt and pepper hair that he manages to pull off without looking old enough to be my father...I repeat, *sigh*.
Then I started to think, "Hmm...surely other people have celebrity crushes that they wouldn't mind sharing so I felt a little less like a psycho for finding a man that I've never crossed paths with so "dreamy." So, I pose this question to you: Who is your less-than-obvious celebrity crush. What I mean is, if you're about to answer this with "Brad Pitt" or "Justin Timberlake" or "Scarlett Johanson" forget it. They are so obviously "sexy" and I'm sure you're one in a bajillion in thinking so. I'm talking about the "handsome" or "beautiful" crushes that fly under the radar...c'mon...you've got to have at least one, right?

The Date is Set!!!

That's right. I made the appointment! June 20, 2011 at 11:15am we are scheduled for our ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby! Aaaaaak! I am so excited! People keep asking me what I'm hoping for. Quite honestly, I'm torn. I would absolutely ADORE another boy just because, well, I don't need that many chicks in my house to put it bluntly. I like running the show, and Paige is already cramping my style a little trying to take over my "Queen of the Castle" title. But, having grown up with a sister, I really think every girl needs a sister (if you're a girl and have one, you know what I'm talking about). It's a bond that just...you can't explain and you just don't get it unless you are a sister to a sister. I'm sure the same could be said about boys and brothers, but seeing as I'm neither, I can't say for certain. Plus, girl clothes are SO much cuter. But boys are so easy. sigh See what I mean? Torn. In other words, we'll be perfectly happy with whatever we end up with.
Carl IV has started going through a phase where he's really interested in death. Weird, right? I don't mean in a creepy way, he's just started talking about dead things or death in general more than ever before. For example: We'll be sitting down to dinner and he asks, "They killed this chicken for us to eat it?" To which I reply, "Yes, they did. It would be hard to eat a chicken if it were alive and running back and forth across the table. Now hush and eat your food." He does this almost every night. I especially like when he asks about something that was never alive, like cereal. "Mom, they killed this cereal for me to eat it?" Me: "No, silly. They make cereal out of grains and stuff." Him: "How they make it?" Me: "Umm...well first a machine goes through a field and picks all the grain, then it goes through another machine and...well...be quiet and eat your breakfast." Whew! I can't wait until he's old enough for me to use the old, "Go look it up!" line, because I don't know what I'm talking about 80% of the time. Okay, 90%. Whatever. The boy has also recently started riding a bike without training wheels. NO TRAINING WHEELS! Yeah, he just turned 4. I'm telling you, this kid's a beast!
Paige is...well...she's 2. That about sums it up. We're starting to get a lot of "No"s from her. Grrr. I forgot how obnoxious that phase is. That and the constant, "Whassat (what's that)?", and "Why?" I would like to apologize to every parent that I ever heard say, "Because I said so!" and thought to myself, "Hmph! I would never say that to my child. That's how they learn." Yeah, the me 5 years ago was an idiot. I've since shut her up and she has been taken over by a much more understanding, less judgemental me that happens to say, "Because I said so," at a disturbing frequency.

FEED ME!!!

I now know how Audrey II felt in "Little Shop of Horrors." I feel like grabbing everything in sight and sobbing, "Feed me!" Seriously. I am hungry. All the time. It's ridiculous. I'm trying to take it easy because I don't want to gain a bajillion pounds during this pregnancy, but I'm starving all day long. I actually tried last week to just eat at meal time and drink water in between to fill me up thinking maybe I was just eating because I was used to eating. Nope. That night while I was cooking dinner I actually had a faint spell. I got all clammy, got tunnel vision, dizziness set in...what is this kid doing to me?! Faint spells?! I don't think anyone has actually had a faint spell since the days of Gone With The Wind. Faint spell. Pffft. Ridiculous.
I started keeping track of the baby's growth through some website that tells you each week what's going on in there. Pretty cool. Except one thing. The site shows you pictures of other moms-to-be due in the same month as you, and all of these chicks are uploading photos of their baby bumps, and I've got to tell you, most of them look as if they're just using this pregnancy as an excuse not to suck in their guts anymore. I feel mean and rude saying it, but I'm serious. I know people show at different stages depending on their build and what # child it is, etc. But some of these girls...come on. You are NOT trying to pass that extra 30lbs you've been hiding under Spanx as a baby belly at 3 months pregnant! Stop it! It's driving me nuts. Maybe it's the hormones making me bitchy, but I just want to call them all out by commenting on their pictures. "Hey, congratulations! Looks like you're expecting a case of Little Debbies!" I know, I know. "Dee, you're being really mean." I can't help it. These are the kinds of things that I'm thinking all the time. Pregnancy just removes my internal filter, so these mean things just come pouring out. Blame it on the baby. Bad, Thaddeus. Bad.
Did you catch that? Yeah, Thaddeus is on the table as a boy name. I know most people think it's weird, but I really dig it. Here's what I've got so far: Boy: Thaddeus or Gabriel. Girl: Tegan, Miranda, Brenna. What do you think? Is naming a kid Thaddeus just cruel or do you think my kid would be cool/tough enough to pull it off?

Heartbeats

I had my second prenatal checkup yesterday and Carl III somehow convinced me that we should take the kids so they could "be a part" of this pregnancy. I have to agree, it sounds good in theory. They get to hear the heartbeat and make it a little more real. One thing that slipped my mind: doctors make you wait. A lot. For a long time. Try waiting in a 10x10 doctors' examination room with a 2 year old, a 4 year old, a STARVING pregnant woman, and a husband who is growing ever-more irritated with all 3 prior-mentioned individuals. I'm suprised we made it out without any casualties.
Anyway, back to sappiness: We heard the new baby's heartbeat for the first time. *sigh* The look on the kids' faces (especially Paige) was priceless. Eyes wide, mouths open in an "o", just completely dumb-struck. So cool. But that will definitely be the last time they accompany us to the doctor. Oi.
Carl IV was asking me over the weekend how the baby would get out of my belly. "Sheez," I thought, "This already?! I am NOT ready for the birds and the bees talk." So, I kept it as simple as possible. I explained that in an ideal situation the baby just came out when it was ready. (I was careful not to mention where said baby came out of. I don't even like to think about that any more than I have to. shudder) Then, I went on to explain that sometimes the baby needs to come out through a cut in the mommy's belly (Imagine my 4 year old's fascination at the thought of someone sawing me in half). Well, somehow he convinced himself that they would be cutting into my tummy to hear the baby's heartbeat. So, when we're pulling out of the doctor's office parking lot Carl IV says, "Why didn't they cut you open? I thought they were going to cut your tummy?" I can't help but laugh at the fact that 1) He was so distracted by the idea of someone cutting me in half that he totally missed the point of why someone would be cutting me open, and 2) He thought I would bring him and his sister to WATCH someone saw me in two?!?! What a weirdo.

Easter Pictures

I am FAR too lazy to upload pictures to both Facebook and this blog, so I'm just going to post the link to my Facebook pictures of the kids at Easter and let you do all the work.  :) 

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/fbx/?set=a.10150232857101349.366263.550041348&l=d26ac802a8

Earth Day

Today is Earth Day! Yay! I remember, growing up in Pensacola, they used to have an Earth Day Festival (do they still do this? I really hope so.) that my mom would take me to. They had arts and crafts for the kids, cool art on display and for sale...just a really nice time to get out in the fresh air. Thinking back to that makes me a little home-sick. This is probably the only time of year that I can actually say I miss living in Florida. The reason? It's pretty simple, really. Current temperature in Pensacola, Fl: 73°. Current temperature in Philadelphia, PA: 52°. *sigh* I keep reading posts from all the people I know if P'cola about heading to the beach. Hmph. I still haven't worn flip-flops yet! Ah, well. I'll brag about having the windows open to a nice breeze in May when they (or you depending on who's reading this) are blasting the A/C! Muahahahaha! <--- my attempt at typing an evil laugh.
On a totally different note, I'm really interested in couponing. One of my oldest friends (and by oldest I mean we've known each other forever, not that she's actually old...just clearing that up for everyone on behalf of Suzie...don't think she'd like me calling her old. LOL) actually went to a couponing class and found this website that makes the whole thing so easy. All she does is pull the Sunday coupons, check the website, and the site tells her what coupons to use in conjunction with what sales to make the most of the coupon. I need something like that. I need a class. I don't know what an EBT is. How do you know if a store doubles/triples coupons? Help! Aaaaak! I always go into coupon clipping really gung-ho and end up getting tired of keeping up with the coupons and sales...and half the time the generic brand (which I buy 90% of the time) is still cheaper than the name-brand with a coupon. *whew* See?! I'm exhausted just thinking about it. But, given the current state of things financially, I really feel like it might be worth the effort. Any helpful hints, Suze? Mom? Anybody? Hello?

Whaddaya Mean it Hasn't Been 9 Months Yet?!

*groan* It is not a good indication that at my current stage of pregnancy (9 weeks) I am already "done." With the last two pregnancies I made it to at least the third trimester before feeling this way. I think it must have something to do with the fact that I'm working full-time this time around and the last two I got to nap pretty regularly. I'm exhausted! That said, I am pleased to announce that the nausea seems to have run its' course and is showing no sign of returning. *fingers crossed*
I had my first "official" OB appointment last week and everything is coming along nicely. My due date is November 6, 2011. I'm thinking I'll probably have the baby more like late October, though. You see, I had to have a c-section with Paige (long story...induction went awry...labor stalled at 4cm...blah, blah, blah), so I am left now with the decision of whether I want to attempt a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) or have a repeat C-section. The more I think about it, I'm leaning toward repeat c-section. Although the chance of anything going wrong during a VBAC is slim (I think less than 2%), I just can't make myself see why ANY unnecessary risk is worth it. Ah, well...I'm sure I'll change my mind another 20 times between now and then, so stay tuned.
On to the kids. Oi! Carl IV is going through a phase (please, God, let it just be a phase) where he has something to say about everything! Carl III must have said to me a dozen times over the weekend, "Why, of all your qualities, did you have to pass on your smart-ass mouth to our kids? WHY?!" To which I reply, "I would rather have my kid be a smart-ass than a dumb-ass." And it's true. As obnoxious as it can be, I'm convinced that sassiness at least shows intelligence. Now, how to get the boy to curb the know-it-all attitude into funny sarcasm...I've always been a fan of sarcasm. I know what you're thinking..."NO! Dee, not you! Sarcastic?! Never." But, alas...it's true. I find sarcasm very appealing, when used properly. Unfortunately the art is lost on 4-year-old boys. And on that note, what's with 4-year-old boys?! What a bunch of freaks! Seriously...just weird. 6 months ago, my son was not as weird as he is today. What happened? My fellow parents with kids 4 and over...does this go away? Is it just my kid? Is it just boys? Please help, because I'm starting to wonder if the kid will ever be able to mingle with the rest of society without drawing "those looks."
This past weekend marked the official peak of Paige's journey into the Terrible Twos. And let me tell you, I thought Carl IV was bad...boy was I wrong. You see, Carl IV was a tantrum-thrower, but he sobbed. Paige stands exactly where she is and just shrieks and screeches when she doesn't get her way. I have never in my life had a more constant headache than I have over the past 2 days. I was actually sort of relieved to come to work today because I knew my boss wouldn't screech in my face because he couldn't have another cup of juice and was getting water instead. *sigh* I'm hoping she gets over this pretty quickly or I may have to resort to ear plugs.
We added a few new members to the family a couple of weeks ago. Paige got a few fishies (and don't ask me to tell you how she pronounces fish, because this is a family show, people...let's just say it's similar to a little boy's slang for female mammary glands), and Carl IV got a turtle. We haven't named any of the fish because all the stupid things look the same, so they're just "the fishies" (unless Paige says it, in which case see above). Carl IV's turtle has gone through about 4 different names now. Everything from Sammy the Snail (Me:"But, dude, he's not a snail." Carl IV:"He's my turtle! I can call him whatever I want to!") to Stretch to just Sammy (Carl IV:"You wight, mommy. He's no snail."). One day last week Carl IV just decided it was easiest to stick with "My Pet Turtle." I think this is a wise decision as I was finding it hard to keep track.
Now, I need some advice/tips/etc. It came to mind the other day that Carl IV is 4 now. (I know. Duh...) But, when I actually think about it, 4 is kind of a big deal. That's when I think back and can first really remember things. And one of the things I remember is that's right about when I started to read. I remember my sister had all these cool Archie comics and Katie Keen comics and I was desperate to know what was going on with those incredibly colorful pictures, but my mom refused to read comic books to me. "If you want to read comics, you'll have to read them yourself." ...and I did. I need help, Internet. How can I get my kid interested in reading? I feel like I have to sit on top of him to make through anything longer than 5 or 6 pages. I vaguely remember my mom labeling everything in her classroom when she taught pre-K so the kids would associate certain items with their names. I think I might do that. Thoughts? Suggestions? What worked for your kids?

On a Serious Note...

There is a little boy in the Philadelphia area (that happens to be related to a girl I used to work with) who is undergoing treatment for a rare form of cancer. Get this...he's already been through this once, and I think he's only 4...and it's back. Trey Love and his family are in dire need of prayers. If you belong to a church, if you could please ask that your congregation pray for this child and his family. If you live in the Philadelphia area, there will be a Beef & Beer fundraiser to benefit Trey's family this Saturday, 4/2 at the Phoenixville Firehouse. Tickets are $25 for adults, $15 for kids 5-12, and kids 5 and under are free. One of my friends on Facebook shared this link today, and I have to warn you...it's a bit of a tear-jerker, but the one thing I could not help but notice was the smiles on the parents' faces. They are going through every parent's worst nightmare for the second time and are still able to put on a happy face for their son.
 http://www.danielfullamphotography.com/archives/343
The group shots in this video are of a candlelight vigil held for Trey a week or so ago...so moving to see so many people...complete strangers...come together to pray for Trey and his family. Okay, I have to go before I start crying. The point here people: Pray.

Movies Not to Watch When Pregnant:

1) Fried Green Tomatoes ---Ruth dies, sobbing ensues.
2) Steel Magnolias --- Shelby dies, sobbing ensues.
3) Someone Like You --- Ashley Judd's character's sister has miscarriage, sobbing ensues.
4) Moulin Rouge --- Satine dies, sobbing ensues.

I foolishly watched THREE of these movies this weekend and ended up an absolute wreck. Fried Green Tomatoes was on Saturday afternoon, and I absolutely adore that movie. Watching it pregnant came with several side effects: 1) the obvious sobbing, 2) Frank Bennett, Ruth's husband, was a royal jerk and deserved what he got, but the thought of Idgy and Big George BBQ-ing a human...it almost made me gag, 3) For the entire length of the movie I wanted some fried green tomatoes...and that's a really long movie...and I still  want some fried green tomatoes.
Steel Magnolias was on yesterday while the kids were napping, and having learned my mistake from the day before, I flicked the TV off the second Shelby went into the hospital. Whew! Dodged a bullet there.
Then, to wrap up the weekend of chick-flicks, Moulin Rouge came on! I watched about 10 minutes before I gathered enough self-control to turn it off before I was beyond hope. That movie gets me over and over again...but I did DVR it, so I'm sure I'll end up a blubbering mess before the week is out.

What a freakin' week!

Dude, last week was hellacious! Ugh! Where to start...? I woke up on Monday with tonsils so swollen that drinking water hurt. Woke up Tuesday covered head to toe in red spots and itchier than I think I have ever been in my life. I came into work, my boss took one look at me and said, "Yeah...go away and get to the doctor. Whatever you've got...I don't want it." Turns out I had strep throat, so 7 days into my antibiotics I'm doing much better, thanks for asking.
Wednesday was pretty uneventful.
Thursday, we had the scare of our lives. I was at work, went to the bathroom (because that's what pregnant women do...a lot) and I noticed blood...enough to make me totally freak out. I managed to call the doctor and my boss before I totally lost it. Poor Carl, by the time I called him I was hysterical. I was absolutely certain that I was losing the baby. The doctor wanted me to come in right away, so I headed home to get Carl and zip over to the doctors' office. While in the car I called my bestie, Carla, who managed to calm me down because she's amazing and that's what amazing people do for their hysterical best friends. By the time I got home I was in a complete daze. I understand that miscarriages happen every day, and that most women have at least one in their lifetime. But you never actually think it'll happen to you. At least I didn't. We get to the doctor (which is my new OB that I'd never been to before, so I had no idea where it was...turns out there are 7 OB/GYNs in the same building and in my state of panic I forgot my doctor's name, so here I am completely panicked running into every OB's office asking if I'm in their computer...not my brightest moment) and long story short, they check me out and everything's okay. WHEW! I don't think I have ever been so relieved in my life! EVER! I could've hugged my doctor, but those pesky stirrups were in the way! Bahahaha!

Yes, we know what caused it. Sheez.

I've been getting that stupid response to my announcing my 3rd pregnancy on an all-too regular basis. "Have you guys figured out what's causing that yet?" Har-har-har. That made me wonder, though...when did it become so unusual for people to have more than 2 kids? At what point did society come to decide that 2 kids was the "norm?" Not too long ago it was totally common and accepted for families to consist of 4 or more children. When did that change? Is it because we're no longer breeding helpers for the family farm? I just don't understand. Not only that, but why is it anyone's concern but mine and my husband's how many kids we have? I am not some leech of society sitting at home popping out babies and collecting my welfare check so I can blow it on booze and cigarettes. I work. My husband works. Ugh!
Alright, thanks for letting me vent. Now onto the fam:
Carl IV's 4th birthday was yesterday. *I'm on the verge of tears just typing that sentance...stupid hormones.* I cannot believe that he's 4! That's the official age of "little boy" not "toddler" or "baby", but "little boy." I can't think about it too long or it freaks me out. My co-worker told me today, "Just think...this time next year you'll be signing him up for kindergarten!" I just looked at her slack-jawed. Kindergarten?! My baby?! Oh, my goodness. Okay, I have to change the subject before the reality of that sets in and I start sobbing. *deep, cleansing breath* We had Carl IV's b-day party at our place on Saturday, and it was pretty low-key. Some family, some friends...no big. I did, however, make the cake this year. I have to say, I was pretty impressed. I'm no Chef Duff (Charm City Cakes reference), but it could've been worse.
Paige is fully invested in being the poster-child for two-year-olds across the world. Tantrums over nonsense one minute, random hugs and kisses the next. The girl's a whacko. She's pretty funny, though. I've started mentioning to the kids that we're going to have another baby soon and every time she hears me say that "Mommy's going to have a baby," she runs off, grabs a doll and hands it to me and says, "Mommy have baby!" So, I'm thinking she doesn't really get it. It's so weird to think that she's older now than Carl was when she was born. And here I go again, running face-first into the fact that I'm going to have 3 children under the age of 5 before the end of the year. Yowza. I have to go splash some water on my face. And maybe lie down. And take some deep breaths.

...and Reality Sets In

I just made my first OB appointment, and with that one 2 minute phone call reality hit. I'm going to have another baby! I am going to be a mother of 3 kids. None of which will be over the age of 5 anytime soon. Aaaaaaaaak! We have to designate one of our rooms as a nursery again. I have to deal with midnight feedings and exploding diapers again at 2am. Have I lost my mind?! What were we thinking?! Alright, Dee...calm down. Remember all the good things about new babies. 2 am feedings are much more bearable when your sniffing your baby's head. Ahhhh...I miss that smell. All I get from sniffing the kids' heads now is sweat and whatever food is left in Paige's hair. Let's not forget tiny baby feet and hands. I love baby feet. Okay, I'm starting to feel a little better. Plus, if I think about things rationally, I've always wanted to have my kids close in age. I'd rather have complete chaos for 5-ish years and be done with it then get acustomed to a normal routine and have to return to chaos again with a new baby. Right?! That's rational. Right?! For God's sake, just tell me I'm right! *picture me with head between my knees taking deep breaths*

Oh, boy. Here we go again.

It's official. I'm pregnant again. I'm excited and terrified at the same time. Excited because, well, baby! Nervous because now we'll be outnumbered. Excited because...awww...baby! Nervous because my kids are smart and know how to organize against us already. Wish us luck.

Prayers

There was another severe earthquake in New Zealand today. The Christchurch area is devestated and at least 65 are dead. Please, regardless of your creed or religion, pray for the victims, their families, and all affected by this horrible disaster. If you would like to donate to the New Zealand Red Cross simply click on the following link:  http://www.redcross.org.nz/donate
Fortunately for me and my family, my aunt Mary is a good 4-5 hours from Christchurch, so thank you God for the peace of mind that I have knowing that she's okay.

39.

I knew it. I knew the second I admitted how happy I was that spring had arrived that nature would kick me in the pants! Last Friday, we had temperatures about 70°F. Today, 39°...and it snowed last night...and it's supposed to snow again tonight. Really? It's just wrong. You can't tease me with sunshine, open your windows weather and then snow again. At least not within 72 hours.
What did we do this weekend...? Oh, yeah. Not a lot. Friday night my friend Kim had a little get-together at a local Irish restaurant for drinks to celebrate her 30th birthday (Happy birthday, Kimber!). I was slapped in the face with how very different things are for me now than, say, 6 years ago. 6 years ago, I would've been out all night, whooo!-ing the whole time, talking people into buying the birthday girl shots. Last Friday, I had 2 beers and was ready to go to sleep...by 10:00. My 23 year old self is so ashamed. I can practically see her shaking her head. Sorry, me 6 years ago...I have 2 kids and wake up at 5:00am on weekdays. I can't hang with you anymore. *yawn*
Saturday Carls III & IV along with Paige got haircuts. Kids getting haircuts = stressful afternoon. Carl IV is so ticklish that he sits in the chair with his shoulders shrugged up to his earlobes, and Paige is...how can I put this nicely? I can't. She's 2-years-old. Enough said. So, she was all cranky and turning her head everywhere except where it was supposed to be. I ended up practically putting the girl in a headlock so the lady could cut her hair. Add to this that they all 3 went within 5 minutes of each other, so I'm keeping track of both kids while Carl III is getting his hair cut. Whew! Pretty exhausting afternoon. Lame? Yeah...probably. But exhausting all the same.
I just looked at a calendar and realized that in 2 weeks my little man is turning 4. Uhhh...what?! When did this happen? If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go weep in the corner.

72!!!!!!

72°!!! Can you believe it?! This time last year we were digging out from 4 feet of snow, and right now it is 72°!! Ahhh...spring is in the air. I can see grass. Birds are chirping. The sun is shining, and not glaring off of mounds of snow. What a beautiful day. And here I sit...at work...inside...staring longingly out the window. *sigh*

Playing for a Change

I've been in a little bit of a funk lately. Not a bad mood. Just a funk. No rhyme or reason, just happens sometimes. Well, I stumbled across this amazing organization called 'Playing for a Change' on YouTube. I think I'm coming out of my funk...because as long as things like this exist in the world, things aren't so bad. 

Normal is weird...in my family, at least.

Paige's 2-year-old well visit was today, and aside from the hysterics following her immunizations, it went beautifully. She is strangely "normal." Let me explain: My son was, until very recently, in the 99th percentile for everything. Head circumference? You betcha. Height? Yep. Weight? The kid was over 10 pounds at birth...what do you think? So, when I get the little sheet that shows where Paige fit into the spectrum, I'm so used to looking to the top that it always shocks me a little to see how neatly she fits into the normal range. She's in the 50-75 percentile in everything. The girl is, physically at least, average. Luckily she's got the wack-a-doo tendencies that help her fit in at home! 

Who are you?

If you've never noticed before, there is a little thingy on the side of the screen that shows whenever someone visits my blog. It uses some marvel of technology to detect where you are and shows the city/state/country and when you stopped by. Most of the time I can figure out who goes along with where, but there are a few that have just been driving me bonkers because, try as I might, I cannot think of someone that I know from..wherever. Example: Plainfield, Illinois...who are you? I know people in Chicago, but I Googled Plainfield, and it's not so close to Chicago. It's driving me nuts!

Pay It Forward

Every day on my drive to work I pass countless school bus stops. I always look (and get a little teary) imagining my kids waiting there, and sneering at the idiot parents that are too lazy to walk their kids to the bus stop and are sitting in their SUVs with the heat running wasting all kinds of gas and polluting our air more than necessary..but I digress. I pass a lot of bus stops. Right. Well, this morning at one of these bus stops there was a boy, probably in 5th grade (he was really tall, and I know they're elementary schoolers because some of them are wearing backpacks that are bigger than them!), standing at the bus stop smiling and waving at every single car that drove by. People were honking and waving. It just made me smile. Then it got me thinking...if something as simple as a wave can make someone smile, why is it so unusual for things like that to happen? Classic example: Wawa (for those of you that don't live in the PA area, this is like a Tom Thumb with a sandwich shop inside...they're fabulous. I fully intend to open one on Pensacola Beach, make my millions, and retire young.) I always hold the door if someone is coming out while I'm going in or vice versa. People always look so shocked and are ridiculously grateful at this simple gesture. Have we as a society become so self-centered that holding the door for someone is worthy of such thanks? That's just sad. So, I challenge you, cyber-stalkers, to commit some random acts of kindness this weekend. Let that person trying to merge into traffic get in front of you. Hold the door for the person behind you (even if it means standing there for a second or two). Smile at a stranger. You never know how terrible that person's day may have been up to that moment...you could be the high point of their day.

Indigo Child

I was chatting with my mom online yesterday, and she was complimenting me on my blog being so entertaining (Thanks, Mom!), and she asked if I had ever heard the term "Indigo Child." I hadn't so I immediately Googled it and did a little reading. I am so flattered! My mom put it very aptly as a "flower child...with attitude." I love that! Upon doing a little more reading on the term, though, I found that more often than not, children that were considered "Indigo" by their parents actually tested positive for ADHD. That got me thinking...how can they accurately test something like that? As the parent of 2 VERY active and whacky children, I'm beginning to worry that some teacher along the way is going to say that one of them is "hyperactive" and try to have me medicate my kid. I really don't like that idea. I've known kids (and adults) that were on riddalin (sp?) and aderol, and I have to say, I'd rather have a total whack-a-doo kid than the doped up zombie that results from medication. I feel like (especially in recent years) any time a kid acts up in school, they're labled as hyperactive or ADD. Umm...maybe you suck as a teacher and need to work on keeping your students' attention? It's a possibility, am I right? These are the things that haunt me at night now that I'm a parent. That and the fear that my son will be a bully, my daughter will be a snob, or the opposite of those 2 things. Parenthood is stressful, even when the little punks are asleep.
Speaking of the little punks, Carl IV had his Valentine's Day party at school today, so I'm sure he'll be all strung out from having eaten nothing but lolipops and conversation hearts all day. God, help me!

Frustration

Hi, can you hear me? Yeah, way down here. Stuck between a rock and a hard place? Yeah, I'm there. *sigh* I am faced with a pretty frustrating and difficult decision right now. I'm thinking of putting the kids in normal daycare instead of paying Carl's mom to do it. I just feel like they need more structure than they're getting there, but since she's family it's kind of hard for me to be like, "Hey. Quit letting them run around like wild monkeys and make them sit down and do stuff." Plus, she's watching them for SO very cheap, I just feel awkward complaining, you know? My biggest frustration is her constant chauffeuring of Carl's brother, Adam. At least once a week Debbie is driving Adam to a doctor's appointment, or to check in with his parole officer, or to get a prescription filled...it goes on and on. This results in my kids being stuck in the car for, usually, at least a couple of hours. That's not fair. Even if this trip falls during nap time, nobody sleeps right in a car. So, this results in a crappy day for the kids which turns into a crappy evening (because they didn't get a proper nap and have been trapped in a car for ages), which leaves Carl III and me with two exhausted cranky kids by 5:00. It screws up everyone's day...UGH! Frustration! Frustration! Frustration! So, now I'm thinking it would be less frustrating and more beneficial to the kids if they were in a classroom environment. The tough part is finding a daycare that doesn't cost an arm and a leg. Wish me luck.

It's the Little Things

One of the fabulous things about our new house is the fact that it has 3 bathrooms. 3! Full! Bathrooms! Finally, I can pee in peace! I can shower without the inevitable, "I gotta pooooooop!!!" I don't have to worry if there's pee on the seat! One thing that I didn't think of moving from a 1 bathroom house to a 3 bathroom house is the fact that we only had 1 soap dispenser. So, for the past few days, we've just been using a bar of soap in the kids' bathroom and kept the soap dispenser in ours (selfish? Maybe. But, hey. We pay the bills. The least we deserve is liquid soap, am I right?). Yesterday on my lunch break I zipped up to Target to grab a couple of 99 cent Softsoap things, and we'll just refill them as needed. Holy cow. To hear my son's reaction to the announcement that he had his own liquid soap, you would've thought he'd just found out that Spiderman was moving in next door! "WHOA! My own soap?! For my bafwoom?! Mom, fank you sooo much! That is soooo cool! PAIGE! Woook! Mom got us our vewy own soap for our bafwoom! Wanna go wash our hands?! Come on, let's go wash our hands!" That kid cracks me up.

The Worst Week...probably EVER

If you remember correctly, we moved into our new house over the weekend. The move went relatively smoothly, thank God. The downside was that we had to move on Sunday, and both Carl and I had to work on Monday, so most of our stuff is still jammed into boxes which are jammed into any available space in the house. This makes getting myself and 2 children ready to leave the house in the morning a challenge, to say the least. I'm digging around trying to find diapers one minute, mascara the next, and Carl's backpack the next. Whew. It's exhausting being a mom. Anywho, we're moved in and the place is great. The week started to go downhill on Monday night. Well, that's not true...Sunday night was a little rough for Carl III and I because we're so used to all the noise from our old house that trying to sleep in the deafening silence at our new house was practically impossible. But, whatev...both kids slept beautifully and I was relieved that at least they hadn't been flipping out at sleeping in a new place. Or so I thought. Turns out Carl IV was lulling me into contentment only to lose his freakin' mind every night since then. "MOM!! MOM!! Don't go! It's so dark!" Me: "Dude, it is SO not dark. You have 2 night lights and I left the light in the bathroom on." Carl IV: "MOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!! Pwease can I have a dwink? I'm very firsty!" Me:"Grrrr. Alright. Stay in bed. I will get you a drink. Then I will give you a hug. Then you will put your head down and not make another sound. Understand?!" Carl IV: (sobbing) "Oh-tay." Me: (returning to the room with water) "Alright, man. I love you. Good night." Carl IV: "But...but...MOOOOOOOM! I want Daddy! I want to tell Daddy good night!" Me: " DUDE! You told Daddy good night." Carl IV: "But, MOOOOOOOM!" Repeat for another 15 minutes until I have to threaten to turn off his nightlights so he can see what "so dark" really looks like.  UGH! Meanwhile, Paige is upstairs snoozing away. Aren't they supposed to get better at bedtime as they get older? Where did I go wrong with the boy, I wonder? It probably all goes back to me rocking him to sleep when he was a baby. Ah, well. Live and learn, right?
Yesterday, we had an ice storm blow through the region. Not at all fun. Our power went out at 4:45am causing both kids to wake up in hysterics because it was...well..."so dark." So, we snuggled together in our bed and tried to fall back asleep. Hmph. Have you ever shared a bed with a 2 year old and almost 4 year old? Not comfy. Not comfy at all. Eventually we all moved downstairs to cuddle up on the couch, where Paige passed out for about an hour. Carl III left for work thinking that he would probably be sent home in a matter of 2 hours. WRONG! He worked until almost 11pm! Our power was out until 3:30pm. I was outnumber. And cold. And had hurt my back by being outrageously smart and going outside to check how the conditions were...turns out they were icy enough to make me fall.  Stupid ice. So, I'm practically crippled, chasing after 2 kids, it's cold, and oh, yeah. The cable guy was there to activate our service at the new house. All in all, not a good day. I was SO very ready for bedtime. Until I realized that I would be flying solo at bedtime because Carl III was still at work. So, I had to face the "But, MOooooooom!" all alone. *Groan!*
To top it all off, we had no hot water this morning. I'm guessing the pilot light went out on the water heater when we lost power, so hopefully it's an easy fix. I had to take a shower at my mother-in-laws this morning before work. I don't care who you are...getting ready for the day somewhere other than your house...it just throws off your whole day. So, here I sit with "I forgot my round brush" hair. Is it Saturday yet? Wait, what?! It's supposed to snow again on Saturday? Great. Of course it is. Because Saturday is still part of this horrendous week. Alright, Sunday. I have high expectations. Don't let me down.

Snow Days!

From Wednesday morning to Thursday the Philadelphia area got 12"-18" of snow dumped. I'm thinking Oaks (where we live) was closer to the 18" side of that spectrum. Oi! My kids woke up and it was all I could do to keep them from running out in their pajamas to roll around in it! This massive storm has put a bit of a kink in our moving plans for this weekend. Now, instead of moving on Saturday we'll be doing everything on Sunday. Fingers crossed for a smooth, glitch-free move!

My, How They've Grown!

It's a horrendous snow day in Southeastern PA, and I sit here at work wondering why I got out of bed this morning to sit here at a desk doing absolutely nothing since everyone obviously assumes we're closed. So, I started flipping through my old pictures on Facebook and found this treasure taken exactly one year ago today.

Look at Paige's face! She's such a baby in this picture! And Carl can't even fit in those cabinets anymore! WAAAaaaaaaaah!!! When did my little babies get all grown up? (Shut up. I know they're not "grown up" but by comparison to this photo, they're enormous now!)

What's That Smell?

As a parent, is there anything worse than have both of your children sick with a stomach bug at the same time? Most would answer with a resounding, "No!" Alas, most would be mistaken. The worse thing is having both parents stricken down with said stomach bug as well. Ugh! This is what happened at Casa de Rudegeair last Thursday and Friday. Fortunately, when both kids were really bad Carl III and I were okay, but on Friday when they started to recover we were down for the count. (On that note, why aren't my kids as sympathetic when I'm sick as I am when they are? The rude little punks still wanted me to prepare them meals while I was lying on the couch groaning in agony! How rude.)
It seems that this bug has cleared out of our home, thankfully...except for a few lingering effects. For one, we are all so gassy it's absurd! (Sorry to share, but honestly! It's ridiculous!) While Carl IV and I are mostly burpy, Carl III and Paige are not so considerate. Carl IV is constantly asking, "Whew! Whassat smell?!" Yeah, that's your family, pal. Sorry.
On a less disgusting note, we're moving this weekend! Yay! I haven't posted anything before this because nothing was finalized until Sunday and I didn't want to jinx it! The new house is almost 3,000 square feet, has 3 bathrooms, and...wait for it...a DISHWASHER!!!! WHOOOOOOO! All this, and $100 less per month than we're paying now?! Hallelujah! Now, if I can just keep from killing Carl III in the process of moving, we'll be all set.

Yuck

The first stomach bug of the year has hit the Rudegeair household. Paige got it first, but fortunately she's still in diapers, so things were...for lack of a better word...contained, and she seemed to snap out of it pretty quickly. Carl IV on the other hand threw up in his bed twice Wednesday night. Poor little guy. He gets so freaked out, and wants nothing more than for me to cuddle him and tell him it's okay. As fantastically awesome as I am, I have to draw the line at cuddling with a vomit-covered 3 year old. So, I wrapped the stinky guy in a towel and dumped him in the bathtub to hose him down...then I cuddled the heck out of my not-so-stinky guy. Poor kid. To make matters worse, apparently my 'Super Mom' germ shield is malfunctioning, because my stomach has been a little sketchy all morning. Ugh. I absolutely DESPISE getting sick. Honestly, before I had kids, I could probably count the number of times I threw up on one hand. Ever since the little carrier monkies came into the picture I get a stomach bug at least once a year! Not cool. Not cool at all. Now, if you will excuse me I'm going to go sip some Gatorade and hang my head between my knees.

Wait...What?

I'll admit it...I don't entirely understand the way my mind works. My train of thought derails on a regular basis, and I jump from topic to topic at random. For example: This morning while I'm drying my hair I start to think about language barriers (Why, you ask? No idea.). Then, I start to think of the story of Babel from the bible and how nice it would have been before those ding-a-lings screwed everything up and the entire planet spoke one language (on that note: I wonder what language everyone spoke. SEE?! There I go again. Where was I?). Ah, yes. Then I started to think, hey...I wonder if language barriers apply to animals. As we all know animals have a way of communicating (I don't know exactly how, but that's neither here nor there.), but I can't help but wonder if you had an elephant from Africa in the same room as an elephant from Asia would they be able to "talk?" One of those things that make you go "Hmmmmm" right?!
Anywho, I just thought I would share my weird psyche with the web. Happy Tuesday. I hope your weather is better than ours right now. The words "Wintry Mix" were used FAR too often in the forecast this week. Pray for safe commutes!

Skype

If you haven't yet discovered Skype, let me tell you, it is the best thing EVER! I got to web chat with my sister, Alie, and my niece, Bobbi yesterday afternoon. I absolutely LOVE it! Alie and I have discovered a pleasant side-effect of web chatting, too. Aparently it has a mind-numbing effect on small children. The kids will be chattering away like rabid hyenas and the second they see someone on the computer talking to them, they freeze. It's fabulous!
Saturday night was Leah's graduation party, and that was the best time I have had in a ages. I absolutely love our family up here. Everyone was dancing, laughing, just having a good time.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a little progress in the big changes we have coming our way (details to follow once everything's set in stone...I don't want to jix myself!), so any positive thoughts or prayers sent our way would be greatly appreciated.

The Answer

Carl and I get looks every once in a while that just screams, "What are those two doing together?!" I mean, let's face it when you have a guy that looks like this:

Walking next to a girl that looks so sweet and normal like this:

...people wonder. Well, I have the answer. The reason is this:

(In case you can't read it, it says "I love you, Dee." My husband, at 5am this morning decided to do something as adorable as leave me a note in the frost on the back door just to brighten my day. How freakin' sweet is that?!

Deep Thoughts

For some reason I have my deepest thoughts in the shower. Possibly because it's the only time that I can hear myself think. Who knows? Maybe I'm having incredibly deep and meaninful thoughts 24/7, but they're being drowned out by a chorus of, "MOM"s and "She pushed me!"s. Anywho, this morning in the shower I was thinking about prayer and church (see my post re: New Years Resolutions) and how I can start to teach my kids about prayer at times other than saying grace before dinner. Obviously, saying your prayers at bedtime is a good place to start. Then I got to thinking about how I used to say my prayers when I was a kid. I remember my sister and I sitting in her bed at night and saying our prayers, and mine always resembled a whish list. A lot of "I want..." and "Please help me get..." That made me think...when's the last time you said thank you to God for all of the things you DO get and all of the good things that DO happen to you? We, as a society, focus so much on when things don't go our way and completely forget to be thankful for the things we do have. I am trying to be a bit more positive this year, and that got me thinking of all of the things that I usually whine/complain about and how I can twist them to see the bright side.

SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW DAY!

We are mere moments away from the snow starting to fall and I'm stuck at work. Sheesh! On the bright side, I've already told my boss that there is absolutely no way that I am driving through 8-12 inches of snow to get here tomorrow, so I have a snow day! Whoo-hoo! Carl IV has made me promise to go sledding this year, so the pictures should be interesting. I'll post again tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Miracles DO Happen!

Yesterday was one of those days that made me remember why I want more kids. We went to church and my children were fantastic! Fan-freakin'-tastic! After that Carl IV and I headed out to get haircuts, and we had lunch at McDonald's. I'm telling you, I don't know what we did differently yesterday, but the two monsters were so good! *deep sigh of relief* We needed a day like that.
Another fabulous thing: My car is fine! Whew! Turns out the cap to something under the hood wasn't screwed on tightly enough. Carl took a gander under the hood yesterday and just tightened everything up, and the ol' mom-mobile is purring like a kitten now! Whoo-hoo!
We're supposed to get anywhere between 6-12" of snow Tuesday night into Wednesday, so please pray for my sanity. As much as I would absolutely love a snow day, there are few things more maddening than trying to keep a two- and three-year-old entertained while cooped up for 24+ hours. *shudder* Just thinking about it is enough to terrify me!

Cutting Corners

In an attempt to save some money and cut back on unnecessary expenses I have recently stopped going to get certain cosmetic grooming done professionally. I started plucking my eyebrows instead of getting them waxed, I wait a lot longer between haircuts than I used to, I haven't gotten a pedicure since my birthday...
Well, ladies, take it from me. The one thing that you ABSOLUTELY want to spend the $40 on is a bikini wax. I stupidly thought, "Hey...I've had 2 kids. How hard can it be to give myself a bikini wax?" The answer: Very.

Sorely yours,
Dee

P.S.-Sorry to any guys that might be reading this, but face it, guys...we don't roll out of bed looking stunning. You knew these things happened. Sorry to rub it in your face, though.  :)

Snow!

Here's a little tip for all employers out there: If you want your employees to not complain about coming to work on snowy days, try plowing the stinkin' parking lot! Ugh!

That being said, I can't help but get a little tired of hearing people complain constantly when it snows. Like today, we're supposed to get a whopping 2-4 inches, and people are whining like it's a blizzard! Hello! You live in Pennsylvania! It snows here! Guess what...it'll probably snow again before the winter's over, and it'll probably do it all over again next year. I lived in Florida for 18 years. I didn't like the heat and I really didn't like the hurricanes, so guess what I did. I moved. If you don't like the snow/cold, please quit complaining and do something about it. Otherwise, shut up. You're making me cranky. Thank you.

Aw, crap.

There are few sights that make me feel as helpless as this. The Check Engine light in my car came on this morning. I really hate that light. A lot. It not only means that I have to call the mechanic and try to get in there sometime this century, but I'm going to be without a car for at least a day, and with my luck it's a problem that costs a small fortune to repair. Stupid light.
Don't tell Carl I said this, but I think the fact that this stupid light popped up 3 days after he changed my oil himself might be a little more than a coincidence. Shhh. That'll be our little secret.

Footies!

Is there anything in the world more adorable than kids in footie pjs? I think not.

On that note: When exactly does it become socially unaccepted to wear footies? Is 10 years old too old for footies? 13? 29? ...and why is that? I would absolutely LOVE some nice footie jammies! That's it. I'm hitting the internet to find some adult footies for myself...and probably Carl. I don't want to look like a weirdo alone. 

New Year Resolutions

1) To post something on here almost every day. I've recently gotten sucked into another blog, The Pioneer Woman, and I am in absolute awe at the moments she has captured by posting every single day. Sometimes something as small as a picture, but it's absolutely fascinating to flip through and see how every day has been documented. That's my mission.

2) To start running...again. See, I was doing SO well with running. Then Carl and I attended a wedding in October, and I thought it would be a good idea to borrow my sister-in-law's super sexy, sky-high, leopard print heels. Silly me. You would think that after 29 years I would have learned that I am disturbingly clumsy. I lost my balance several times that night. Once while standing completely still. I was talking to a friend (thankfully the only person around to witness this shamefully embarrassing display of my lack of grace) and I just started teetering to the side. Was there a strong gust of wind? Nope. Just God saying, "Hmm...where is that Dee? Ahh...there she is! " *sigh* Anywho, long story short, I lost my balance on the dance floor (because what's the fun of falling in, say, the bathroom without 250 witnesses?), rolled my ankle, and haven't been running since. But, I'm feeling like my foot could take it now, plus I got some really nice Nike running pants for Christmas, so I'm starting again next Monday! Wish me luck.

3) Regardless of how late I was out on Saturday night or how horrendous my children are behaving, I will drag my family to mass EVERY SUNDAY.

Okay, now that I've filled you in on my plans for 2011, I have to relay to you the silliness that is my 3 1/2 year old's sense of humor. This morning while I'm helping him put on his shoes he looks at me and says, "Knock, knock!"
Yay! I love cheesy jokes! And if the grin that was spread across that mischievous face of his was any indication, this was going to be a doosie! "Who's there?"
"Pee-Pee"
Uh-oh. I think I see where this is going..."Pee-Pee Who?"
"Pee-pee BUTT!"  And the kid collapsed on the sofa as if he'd just finished the most hysterical joke of all time.
But it doesn't stop there. In the car on the way to drop him off at my mother-in-laws, I again hear him say, "Knock-knock!"
"Who's there?" I ask.
"Banana."
Whew! Banana? This might actually be a joke. Alright, I'll bite. "Banana who?"
"Banana BUTT! BAHAHahahahahaha!"
*sigh* Welcome to my life.