Things NOT to Say to a Pregnant Chick

1) "Look how big you're getting!" Yeah, thanks, pal. Because I hadn't noticed that while pulling on my elastic waisted pants over the mound of flesh that used to be my abdomen this morning. Ugh.

2) "You're going to breastfeed, right?" Excuse me, how is this ANYONE's business? Honestly? And the people that ask this can swear up and down that they're asking because they care about your kid's well-being, and how breastfeeding is best...I'm convinced it's just an excuse for nosey biddies to get all judgey on those of us that choose to bottle-feed. Yes, I'm selfish. I've already dedicated my body to this child for almost an entire year. I'm ready to be able to leave the house without worrying about whether I'll have to pump or feed or risk my boobs exploding. That being said, I have the utmost admiration for women that can commit to breastfeeding for any length of time without going bonkers. Hats off to you, ladies.

3) "Have you decided on a name yet?" This one really bugs me for some reason. I think it's because, when you tell people names that you're considering, they take this as an open invitation to give their opinion on those names. Yeah...I didn't ask if you liked the name, lady. It's not your kid, so I don't care if you knew a girl named _____ in middle school and she was absolutely terrible and you could never stand the name from that point on. That's nice. Make sure to scratch that name off of your list of potential baby names, then. I can't tell you how many people gave me negative opinions about the name Paige. Now that it's her name, all we get are compliments (and be honest...if you've met the girl, there isn't another name out there that suits her, right?!).

4) "How much weight have you gained?" This one really requires no explanation...and, yes, someone asked me this last week. My reply? A VERY arched raised eyebrow and a closed mouth.

5) "How are you feeling?" Ugh! This is the first thing everyone says to a pregnant woman. Do you really want to hear all of the things ailing me at the moment?! Do you?! My ankles swell up to the size of my calf almost daily resulting in my having cankles for the first time in my life. My child's foot/knee/elbow has taken up residence between 2 of my floating ribs on the left side resulting in pain while sitting, sleeping, standing, etc. Shall I continue?

6) "Oh, you're coming back to work?" Again with the judgey. Yes, I am coming back to work. As much as I would love to be the stay-at-home mom type, I just don't have that in me (even if it was financially realistic...which it just isn't right now). I tried it, and I was borderline depressed. There were days that the boy and I never got out of pajamas (and I'm not talking 1 or 2 days here and there...multiple days per week). It's just not my thing. We're all much happier now that we're not in each other's pockets constantly.  

7) "Was this a planned pregnancy?" This one usually comes immediately after first announcing that you're pregnant. How is this in any way appropriate, people? If it weren't a planned pregnancy, do you think I would want to discuss that with you?! Honestly...tact, people. Tact. Learn it. Use it.

8) "Are you going to have any more children?" Again, none of your business. And asking a woman that is 8 months pregnant this question...I can almost guarantee that her answer will be either "I don't know," or "Absolutely not." Also, there seems to be no answer to this question that satisfies the person asking. If you say yes, then they look at you like you're one of those families in Arkansas with 97 kids. One of my friends just had her first, and she and her husband are perfectly content with that. She actually got negative remarks from people when she said they probably weren't going to have any more. Ugh! BUTT OUT!

Sorry for the rant, but apparently these things needed to be pointed out because people can be a little stupid. The end.

Extreme Coup -- Oooh, look! A butterfly.

After living without power for 4 days, obviously I had to throw away a lot of food this week. I mean, really...A LOT! I am disgusted with how much frozen meat just got tossed into the trash can. Ugh. Such a waste of money. So, I decided I was going to buckle down with my coupons and the internet, find the best deals on as much as I could so that I can restock our food supply without draining our bank account. Yeeeeeaaaaahh...I'm having flashbacks to high school. I don't know if I have ADD or if I just get bored really fast. I'm digging through the sales ads, pulling up websites, all gung-ho about how much money I'm going to save and "Oooh! I can get free toothpaste!" then suddenly, *POOF* I'm bored and watching 'How I Met Your Mother' and eating 1/2 a bag of BBQ potato chips (<--- don't judge me). I'm trying. I really am. But it's just so hard for me to organize my own thoughts, much less 30 pages of coupons and remembering what store's ads are good from Thursday thru Wednesday and which ones run from Sunday to Saturday. My mind is boggled. Not to mention that looking at all these stupid ads is making me hungry.

LET THERE BE LIGHT!!!!

WE HAVE POWER!!!! Whoo-hooo!!!! I was cleaning all the food out of the fridge/freezer (and am ill at the amount of meat I had to throw away...what a waste) when I suddenly heard this humming. It took me a minute to realize it was the fridge kicking on! Hallelujah! That was one of those moments that I wish life was like a musical. I can think of no more appropriate time to spontaneously burst into song and dance!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Still no power. On the verge of a HUGE meltdown.

Yes, I'm From Florida, but...

Hurricane Irene hit our area Saturday night. My power went out at approximately 10:00pm. It is 4:36pm on Tuesday. I am still without power. Not cool. Not cool at all. "But aren't you from Florida?" people keep asking me. "You should be used to this." Grrrr. Yes, people of Pennsylvania. I am from Florida. And yes, I have done this whole 'no power' thing before many times. But that's the point. I've done this. I've done this for weeks on end before. Now I live in Pennsylvania, I shouldn't have to! Not to mention that when I lived in Florida I was doing this without kids. My biggest concern was getting enough ice to keep my beer from skunking. No electricity for 3 days + 2 kids = Unhappy Dee. Add to the mix the fact that we have well water, so no electricity means no running water...forget it. I'm done. I have given up. No point in getting upset over it. That sure hasn't helped thus far. So here are a few things that I have just resigned myself to accepting until I get power back:
- My house smells. It smells like the food that's going icky in my fridge that I'm afraid to clean out until I have enough light to really see what's in there. It smells like the toilets haven't flushed in 3 days. It smells like the husband who has been working 16 hours a day since Sunday and hasn't had a chance to shower (because remember? We don't have water.).
- I will not get a full night's sleep until we get power back. This is due to several factors: 1) It's too damn quiet without the hum of the refrigerator or the fish tank or my fan. 2) The boy has decided that without his nightlight, his room is unfit for nightime habitation...in other words he's terrified of the dark and my mommy powers are the only thing that will keep him safe from the things that go bump in the night. So now I have a very leggy 4 year old taking up 3/4 of my bed and using every exposed body part of mine as a pillow. 3) Carl is working until 11:00pm every night. Our front door is loud. Do the math.
- I am going to end up reading the same 4 Disney books every night. And, really, Disney? MUST you make the books so long? The kids are starting to catch on to my "skip a page" and "paraphrase" tactics. I'm sorry, but I just can't read a 50 page book to a 2 & 4 year old.
Okay, enought whining...I'm heading home. Fingers crossed that by some miracle we have power. Puh-leeeeeeeeease, God! Please!

The End is Neigh!

Did I even use 'neigh' properly? Probably not. Ah, well. You may be asking yourself, "When did Dee become an apocalyptic prophet?" Let me tell you about the goings on in the tri-state area lately. We have received more rain this month than ever before (at least the Philadelphia area has). Ever. In recorded history. EVER.
On Tuesday we had an earthquake. Sort of. Alright, there was an earthquake in Virginia, and my desk in Limerick, PA jiggled a little. I was in the office alone and, I swear, I thought I was having a seizure. It was that subtle, but just enough that I was like, "Why in the world am I shaking?" Haha! Sad, I know, but true.
Now we have a major hurricane heading our way this weekend. Hurricane Irene has the potential to still be a category 3 storm when it reaches our area. Really, Nature? Really?! That is the ONE reason I always give when I am asked the question, "Why on earth did you move to PA from Florida?!" "No hurricanes," I reply. Well you just had to prove me wrong, didn't you, Nature? Hmph. I don't appreciate that. At all.
On the bright side, my cousin Claire is coming to visit today! Yay! Well, let me edit that. As long as the weather quits being stupid for long enough, my cousin Claire will arrive today! Hooray! I'm so excited, but at the same time a little...not nervous, but...anxious, maybe? You see, Claire and my sister were pen pals since childhood and have always been closer than Claire and I (I think they're a little closer in age, and just had more in common given the fact that last time Claire visited our family I was 12 and both she and my sister were in high school). Anywho, I, being the anxiety-ridden moron that I am, have been stressing out about what we're going to do and "Oooh, I have to take her to see this," and "Crap! I can't forget to take her here!" I'm just so desperate to show her a good time. I know. I'm needy. But now this stinkin' weather is goofing up all my plans! It's kind of hard to enjoy putzing around Philadelphia taking in the sights when there's a Cat 2-3 hurricane blowing around! Ugh! Let me assure you that this is all self-inflicted stress. Claire has assured me that all she wants to do is hang out with the family and spend a few days getting to know the kids and Carl and catching up with me. But I am always so worried that anyone that visits is bored...I don't want to be the boring stop on a trip, you know? "Oh, my trip was fabulous! I went to India and saw the Taj Mahal. Then off to Indiana where we did blah, blah, blah awesome things. Oh, yeah. Then I stayed at my cousin's house and watched her hyperactive children act like caged animals during a hurricane." *sigh* Why do I do this to myself?

A Comparison

The Boy:

• Born 4 days late...and would've probably stayed longer if given the opportunity.
• Screamed every waking moment for approximately 3 months.
• Lost almost all of his hair in the first 6 months of life save a freakish mullet-looking patch in the back.
• Slept on my or Carl's chest for the first few weeks because he wouldn't sleep otherwise.
• Started crawling at 6 months, walking at 9 months, potty-trained by 2 1/2.
• Has always fought sleep as if he's afraid we throw wild parties once he's in bed and he might miss something. Seriously, the boy used to pull his own hair as an infant to stay awake (side note: maybe that's why it all fell out...hmmm...)
•  Is very sensitive to other people's feelings. As a baby he was always VERY concerned when he heard another kid cry.
• The older the gets, the more cuddly he gets, much to my delight!

The Girl:

• Born 8 days early
• SUCH a pleasant baby...I remember thinking, "If normal babies are like this, I can see why people have more than one!"
• Has had the thickest, most amazing hair since day 1. No joke. She had her first hair cut at about 9 months. I don't think she ever lost a hair on her head.
• As long as you swaddled her and laid her on her side, the girl would sleep wherever you put her down as a baby.
• Started crawling at 5 1/2 months, walking at 8 months...still working on potty-training (stubborn little monster).
• Slept so much during her first week at home that I took her to the pediatrician 3 times. He looked at me and said, "She's a baby. They sleep. It's kind of their thing." To which I replied, "Do you remember my son? Carl Rudegeair?" And a look of knowing came over the doctor and he patted me on the back and said, "Well, you've definitely earned a good sleeper, haven't you?"
• Lives in her own little world 85% of the time. She spontaneously bursts into song/dance/conversation and doesn't care who's around (or even if she's completely alone).
• The older she gets, the less cuddly she gets. Hmph.